6 Tablespoons rum, brandy or bourbon (optional)
Place cider, orange slices, allspice berries, cloves, and cinnamon stick pieces in a large pot. Simmer very lightly for 5 minutes. Remove from heat and strain. Pour hot cider mixture into six mugs and stir 1 tablespoon rum, brandy or bourbon, if using, into each mug. Grace each serving with a cinnamon stick, if desired.
]]>Someone sent me an apple pie! It arrived on my doorstep at 9 p.m. the night before Thanksgiving. I was thrilled until I read the directions. They said it was best to serve the pie at room temperature the day it arrived. But it was too late to eat the pie that night. Besides, most of the pie eaters were coming the next day—Thanksgiving. I finally decided to serve the pie warm on Thanksgiving, but was a wreck throughout the entire dessert experience. Why can’t pie directions be more flexible?
Sincerely,
Flustered
* * *
Dear Flustered,
If you will excuse my saying so, perhaps it is you who needs to loosen up. An apple pie, however served, is better than no apple pie at all. If anyone ever sends you a pie again, try not to worry so much. Just allow yourself and your guests to enjoy a very thoughtful holiday gift.
Regards,
TKT
]]>Heirloom Cicada Bisque (recipe below) soars over the competition. Carefully crafted from 17-Year Brood X 2021 Neighborhood Cicadas, this bisque is a one-of-a-kind offering with a friendly, intimate feel. It proudly showcases a rowdy banquet of root vegetables and seasonings to honor the cicadas’ years of underground feeding and raucous few weeks in the sun.
Internally confident, if not necessarily appealing, Heirloom Cicada Bisque also meets us where we are. Fragrant black specs of charred vegetables distract from unwanted musings on dismembered body parts. A delicious rum cicada marinade softens discordant insect notes while infusing the dish with rich, numbing overtones welcome to all. Consume an entire batch in one sitting or save some for a special event. The dish is easily transportable from freezer to freezer as you change appliances over 17 years.
Heirloom Cicada Bisque is a classic that won’t ever go out of style, because it never was in any kind of style and never will be—it just is. Enjoy the cicada moment!
20-30 newly emerged cicada nymphs
Fresh parsley for garnish, or actually anything
Boil nymphs in water for 2-3 minutes, drain and rinse. Cut off heads and wings. (Be careful, or you’ll yank the little guys right out of their shells.) Remove legs with fingers, as this is easier than cutting, although somewhat disgusting. (Freeze nymphs in advance if more convenient).
In a large bowl, coat onions, carrots, turnips, yuca, sweet potato and celery root with 2 tablespoons of peanut oil, brown sugar, salt and pepper. Roast in 425ºF oven on 2 cookie sheets, stirring once or twice, until vegetables soften, about 30 minutes.
Heat remaining 1 tablespoon of peanut oil in a large saucepan. Add ginger, turmeric and cicadas. Sauté, stirring frequently, for about 2 minutes or as long as you can stand it.
Add roasted vegetables to cicada mixture in saucepan and stir to mix. Add apple cider and water up to level of roasted vegetables, cover and simmer for about 20 minutes. (It may be hard to watch the glorious, multi-colored roasted vegetables simmering in a savory broth punctuated with revolting-looking bugs. Remember, however, that the cicadas are the stars of this feast, the jewels that will propel your dish to shiver and shine.) Let cool slightly.
Purée mixture in a food processor, return to saucepan and stir in half and half. Warm mixture and adjust seasonings, if desired. Serve garnished with parsley or other refreshing and distracting topping.
]]>I love spring, but this year the deer munched the blossoms off my tulips, devoured my pansies and shredded my new hedge. I thought my little poppy seedlings were safe, as deer don’t like poppies. Then the deer squished the poppies with their hooves. I’ve tried various sprays and growing deer resistant plants, but nothing works. Do you have any kitchen therapy to help me survive the onslaught?
Sincerely,
Discouraged by Deer
* * *
Dear Discouraged,
Assuming the deer haven't devoured all of your dandelions, I might suggest making some dandelion wine. But, it takes years to ferment and you probably don’t want to wait that long. Another option might be to plant or buy some mint (which deer tend to avoid). You then could prepare a refreshing mint beverage capped with dandelion flowers—please see the recipe, below. Mint helps soothe and balance emotions. And the dandelion flowers? These cheerful yellow sunbursts can brighten even the most dejected of moods.
Sincerely,
TKT
2 cups water2 teaspoons honey, or to taste
Bring water to a boil in a small pot and remove from heat. Add mint leaves and let steep, covered, for 20-30 minutes.
Pour beverage through a sieve into another pot, gently pressing the mint leaves against the sides of the sieve with a spoon to extract the liquid. Stir in honey and pour over ice into glasses. Grace each glass with a dandelion flower.
]]>One way out may be to align with a different species. To immerse your brain in the joys and rhythms of another way of life. To soulfully reverberate once more with the revelries and innocence of song.
Why not prepare some Wild Bird Suet? It's easy to make and freezes well. Once made, you can insert the suet into a suet feeder, hang it in your yard and allow the gentle happy havoc of the feeding frenzy to mercifully buffet and restore your battered senses. Here's the recipe:
2 cups lard
1 cup crunchy peanut butter
1/2 cup sugar
2 cups quick-cooking oats
2 cups yellow cornmeal
1 cup all-purpose flour
1/2 cup birdseed
2 Tablespoons fine sand for grit (optional)
Melt lard, peanut butter and sugar in a saucepan on low heat and stir until well blended. Remove from heat and stir in oats, cornmeal, flour, birdseed and sand, if using. Spoon mixture into containers suitable for freezing and, for standard suet feeders, to a depth of about one inch. Cool, cut into shapes that fit your suet feeders and freeze until ready to use.
I’m reeling from a streak of bad luck with kitchen appliances. First my stove short-circuited because mice chewed the wires. Then my toaster oven dangerously overheated when its timer broke. Now my garbage disposal is groaning and refusing to churn. My refrigerator thermostat has never worked properly. I’ve coped by storing sensitive produce, such as lettuce, in plastic containers in the refrigerator to prevent freezing. My question is—given my string of bad luck—should I just break the rest of my refrigerator now and get the inevitable crash over with or wait for it to implode on its own?
Sincerely,
Jinxed with kitchen appliances
* * *
Dear Jinxed,
I’m very sorry about your string of bad luck. It’s frustrating when appliances break all at once, rather than peter out over time. I’m not sure, however, that pre-empting the next breakdown by sabotaging your refrigerator is the wisest choice.
First, it’s hard to be certain that your refrigerator will be the next appliance to crash. Are you sure it’s not going to be the dishwasher, microwave or coffee maker, for example? No point ruining what’s left of your refrigerator if you have a more pressing need. Also—and I don’t mean to be offensive—but if you or your loved one bought that lemon of a refrigerator, who’s to say you won’t select a lemon replacement?
A safer approach may be to focus first on fixing or replacing what already is broken. It’s not clear where jinxes originate, but it’s probably not a good place Your positive steps towards kitchen improvement may discourage the jinx and limit its room to maneuver. I don’t wish anyone harm, but it’s also more than time for your jinx to move on.
Good luck!
TKT
]]>Finally, I can see the light at the end of the long, gloomy pandemic tunnel. Vaccines, travel, outdoor dining, baseball games, birthday parties, museums, Spring! It’s almost too good to be true and that, i guess, is my concern. Could you please tell me what to avoid to preserve my hopeful mood?
Sincerely,
I Don’t Want to Blow It
* * *
Dear No Blow,
This one’s pretty easy. Whatever it takes, avoid gum ball machines. It’s not just that you won’t get your favorite colored ball. Or that the person in front of you will. Or that the flavors of the gum balls won’t match their colors. It’s that your coins probably won’t even fit in the coin slot due to the bungling of some coin jammer who has left the premises and can’t be apprehended. The crushing frustration may well unleash a torrent of disturbing childhood memories—from missed gum balls to dropped stuffed animals in those machines with the little claws.
Don’t get me wrong. Gum ball machines can be great in the right frame of mind. But in your precarious mental state, walk on by.
Regards,
TKT
]]>I am sick and tired of the cold! It’s supposed to be Spring, yet it’s freezing outside with fierce winds. I want to be outside—to garden, golf—anything! Yet, I’m stuck inside again with my dubious friend Zoom. Any ideas to cheer me up?
Sincerely,
Trapped
* * *
Dear Trapped,
How about a picnic? Indoors. That is, spread a checkered or other tablecloth on your living room carpet and top it with your favorite picnic foods. If you crave more authenticity, put on your parka and ski cap, open a window and wait for a bee or fly to buzz in. Even if it’s too chilly for such visitors, at least you’ll break free from your routine and enjoy an opportunity to muse about sunnier times ahead.
Please check out the recipe for Deviled Eggs, below. They grace any picnic basket and are a perfect finger food.
My best regards,
TKT
6 large eggs, hard boiled and peeledPaprika for dusting
Slice eggs in half lengthwise, scoop out yolks and place yolks in a small bowl. Add sour cream, mustard, herbs, Worcestershire sauce, salad dressing, salt and pepper. Mush and stir to blend. Spoon yolk mixture into hollowed egg whites, gently mound the tops and sprinkle with paprika.
]]>I’ve become very nostalgic lately. I long for the iconic foods of the 1950s—pigs in a blanket, Jell-O molds, pot roast with canned mushroom soup. But, my kids hate that kind of food. Any suggestions as to how I can satisfy my 1950s’ taste buds and still keep my family happy?
Sincerely,
What Would June Cleaver Do?
* * *
Dear Nostalgic,
Have you considered a tuna casserole? This 1950s’ classic oozes comfort while saluting the wonders of canned, processed and frozen ingredients, along with a respectable fat content. On the other hand, it can adapt to current tastes.
See what you think about the recipe below. It freshens the dish by substituting a lighter sauce for the canned soup and adding lots of fresh vegetables and more engaging seasonings. On the other hand, the casserole holds true to packaged egg noodles, canned tuna and frozen peas.
Crave more canned goods and bland flavors? Try serving some chilled canned peaches for dessert. To please your kids, buy peaches in pear juice, rather than heavy syrup. To please everybody, buy a spray can of delicious whipped cream.
Good luck and enjoy!
TKT
12 ounces wide, uncooked egg noodles1/2 cup pitted black olives, sliced crosswise into rounds
Cook pasta according to package directions, but al dente. Drain and mix in a large bowl with peas, parsley, carrots and tuna.
Heat oil in a large (3-quart) saucepan on medium heat. When hot, add mushrooms and fennel seeds. Cook, stirring frequently, until mushrooms soften and most water evaporates, about 6 minutes. Add garlic, onions and thyme and cook until soft, about 4 more minutes. Fold mushroom-onion mixture into noodle mixture. Return saucepan to stove.
Add butter to saucepan on medium heat. When butter melts, stir or whisk in flour and cook about 1-2 minutes. Stir or whisk in chicken (or fish) broth and bring to a boil. Reduce to a simmer and stir or whisk in milk, mustard, lemon zest, lemon juice, salt and pepper. Return to a simmer. Continue cooking, stirring constantly, as mixture thickens, about 2 minutes.
Fold sauce into noodle mixture. Spoon into well-greased 9 x 13-inch baking dish, sprinkle with cheese and top with olives. Bake at 375ºF for 25 minutes, or until casserole bubbles and cheese melts.
]]>
I recently delivered a casserole to a neighbor who had gotten a knee replacement. It was a tasty Iranian dish of ground lamb, sliced eggplant, tomato sauce and pine nuts with a hint of cinnamon. My neighbor kindly called to thank me and said she enjoyed it. But then she made an intriguing comment on which I’d like your advice.
She offered that “Unlike most casseroles, this one didn’t taste better the next day”. Should I be pleased or offended by this critique? I’d like to know, as I’m wondering if it’s the kind of thing I should say if anyone ever makes me a casserole.
Sincerely yours,
Confused by a Compliment?
* * *
Dear Confused,
How nice of you to think of your neighbor’s needs and offer a homemade meal! I personally think it sounds delicious, but am puzzled as well by the feedback. On the one hand, she may have meant that your casserole was remarkably fresh. On the other hand, it apparently wasn’t the gift that keeps on giving.
Whatever she meant, please don’t overlook the positives. You gave her something tasty, even if only for a day. And if she pitches the leftovers, you’ve saved her valuable refrigerator or freezer space. As importantly, you may have helped her grow into a better person. She may be more inclined to be grateful for today’s meal without taking tomorrow’s meal for granted.
I’m not sure I’d repeat your neighbor’s assessment, however, should someone ever give you a casserole. A simple “Thank you—it was delicious!” is clearer and probably enough.
My very best regards,
TKT
]]>I wouldn't worry too much about it. In my experience, people are more interested in the alcohol than the food--at least at my..
]]>Dear Kitchen Therapist,
I have appetizer envy. When I'm invited to others' houses for dinner, they always serve fantastic appetizers. Yet, when I entertain, my mind goes blank. I love appetizers, but by the time I finish planning the main course and dessert, I have no ideas left. I know I shouldn't try to "keep up with the Joneses," but I always feel deficient. Would you have any thoughts on how to approach this problem?
Sincerely,
Wanting by Comparison
Dear Wanting,
I wouldn't worry too much about it. In my experience, people are more interested in the alcohol than the food--at least at my parties. If you want to master appetizers, however, you might try an approach I've found to be quite helpful. It's called "Want-Should-Love."
Offer one appetizer that people want, but feel guilty about eating. (Make your own choice, but I often serve salty tortilla chips or little meatballs in gravy.) Offer another appetizer that people don't really want, but feel they should eat to counteract their indulgence in the first appetizer. An example might be a nice tzatziki or hummus dip with fresh raw vegetables. Finally, offer an appetizer that you love, whatever others think. You certainly can expand the selection, but if you present these three types of appetizers, most people will be happy and you can focus on the main course and dessert.
My very best,
TKT
My teenage son is transforming my house into a total mess and refuses to clean anything up! I’m used to tripping over his shoes and backpacks and pleading with him to return dirty dishes under his bed to the kitchen. But with virtual schooling during Covid-19, every inch of my house now is cloaked in clutter. Is there anything I could cook to gain perspective on this situation?
Sincerely,
Exasperated by teenage clutter
* * *
Dear Exasperated,
I would suggest that you cook some spaghetti squash. As I’m sure you know, it’s important with teenagers to manage expectations.
Spaghetti squash helps in managing expectations, because it tends to disappoint unless you constantly remind yourself that it is squash, not pasta. The problem is that when roasted and pried into strands, the flesh looks like spaghetti, but still tastes like squash. The confusion increases when the squash is smothered in typical pasta toppings, such as marinara sauce or butter, herbs and parmesan cheese.
So a first step towards a cleaning regimen with your teenager may be to cook and eat some spaghetti squash. Your goal would be to try and appreciate the squash for what it is (squash), rather than expect it to be something that it is not (pasta). Then, each crunchy spoonful is more likely to please than offend. As you become more adept at wrapping your mind around the true nature of spaghetti squash, you may be surprised at what both you and your son can accomplish together. Please see a simple recipe below.
P.S. You don’t have to try and feed the squash to your son. We're looking for progress, not miracles.
My best regards,
TKT
1 spaghetti squash (about 2 pounds)
1-2 Tablespoons olive oil
Salt and pepper
2 Tablespoons butter, sliced thin
1/4 cup grated parmesan cheese
1/2 cup chopped fresh herbs, such as basil, parsley (or a combination)
2 Tablespoons roasted (shelled) sunflower seeds
1/2 lemon (juiced)
Preheat oven to 400ºF. Cut ends off squash and then cut in half lengthwise. Scrape out seeds with a spoon. Rub each half with olive oil and sprinkle with salt and pepper. Roast each half upside down on baking sheet for 30-40 minutes, depending upon desired crunchiness. Remove from oven and, holding squash with a potholder, pry flesh of squash into strips of “spaghetti” with a fork. Place strands in bowl and toss with butter, parmesan cheese, herbs and sunflower seeds. Sprinkle with lemon juice.
]]>
Outer Space Fruit and Nut Balls thrive on the untamed and untrammeled. Although formulated for outer space, they work well on other types of emergency excursions. Lightweight and portable, they can be consumed without additional processing and provide a burst of nutrients and energy. The pliable texture and coconut coating of these fruit and nut balls also trap crumbs that could clog vents or sensitive instruments on spacecraft. The small, round shape accommodates quick pops into the mouth without cutting or undue maneuvering in cumbersome space suits. Perhaps best of all, the balls are easy to grab and retrieve should they try to float away in a low-gravity environment. Outer Space Fruit and Nut Balls taste great and will help boost your morale whatever your destination.
1 cup nuts, such as almonds, cashews or a combination
2 Tablespoons unsweetened cocoa powder
2 Tablespoons apple juice or cider
2 teaspoons orange extract
2 Tablespoons honey
1/2 cup chopped dried dates
1/2 cup chopped dried apricots
1/2 cup sweetened shredded coconut
Pulse nuts and cocoa in a food processor until finely chopped and blended. Add apple juice (or cider), orange extract, honey, dates and apricots. Continue pulsing until mixture is well blended and binds together. Remove from food processor and form into balls, about 1 tablespoon each. Roll balls in coconut and then between the palms of your hands to firmly embed the coconut in the mixture.
]]>
1 fresh organic sweet potato (not shriveled)
4 toothpicks
1 large jar (1-2 quarts)
Water for the jar
Insert toothpicks about one-half inch into the sweet potato around its middle. Put sweet potato in jar, pointed end down, with toothpicks resting on the jar’s rim. There should be at least one inch between the bottom of the sweet potato and the bottom of the jar; if not, adjust toothpicks. Fill jar with water up close to the rim. Place in a warm, sunny spot inside your house or apartment, such as on your kitchen counter or window sill. Add more water as needed and change the water if it becomes cloudy, about once a week. In one to two weeks, the show should begin. First you’ll notice small roots protruding from the sides or end of the potato. A week or two later, fresh green sprouts should emerge and eventually transform into cascading vines. To prolong the splendor, transplant the potato in soil in a hanging planter or snip off and root the sprouts (or “slips”) in water and then plant in your garden.
]]>
2/3 cup (4 ounces) uncooked wild rice
2/3 cup uncooked white long-grain rice
3 1/2-4 cups vegetable broth
1 teaspoon dried sage
1 Tablespoon olive oil
1/2 teaspoon fennel seeds
1/2 teaspoon dried basil
1 1/2 cups chopped onions
1 cup chopped celery with leaves
1 1/2 cups sliced mushrooms
1 Tablespoon cooking sherry
1/3 cup dried sweetened cranberries
1/3 cup macadamia nuts
2 teaspoons orange zest
Juice of one orange
1/2 cup chopped parsley
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon black pepper
Cook wild rice and long-grain rice separately in two medium pots according to package directions, but substituting vegetable broth for the water and adding 1/2 teaspoon sage to each pot. Drain wild rice.
In a large saucepan, heat oil on medium heat and sauté fennel seeds and basil for about 30 seconds. Add onions, celery and mushrooms and continue cooking until vegetables start to soften, about 3 minutes. Stir in sherry and continue cooking for an additional 2-3 minutes.
Add wild and white rice, onion-mushroom mixture, cranberries, macadamia nuts, orange zest, orange juice, parsley, salt and pepper to a large bowl and mix well.
]]>I don't blame you for being irate. These "Buy One, Get One Free" specials play to our worst instincts--to buy more than we...
]]>
Dear Kitchen Therapist,
Yesterday I went to the supermarket for some blueberries and the sign said "Buy One, Get One Free". These "sales" drive me crazy! If I buy two containers, I waste one and if I only buy one, the price is inflated. I considered boycotting the display and buying nothing, but wanted some blueberries. Then I tried to be responsible and buy only one container. When I was checking out my groceries, however, the cashier made me feel so pathetic for leaving a "free" container behind, that I went back and retrieved it. (I know I could have tried to split the blueberries with someone in the store, but didn't want the hassle of having to check out together.) Now I face blueberry domination for an entire week, if not more! I could freeze the extras, but prefer to use my fruit when it is fresh. Would you happen to have any creative solutions to my dilemma?
Hopefully,
Bushwhacked
Dear Bushwhacked,
I don't blame you for being irate. These "Buy One, Get One Free" specials play to our worst instincts--to buy more than we really want or need. You, at least, were tormented by your better instincts--to boycott the sale or leave with only one container of blueberries. If you'll excuse me from saying so, however, I think you caved in too soon. Believe in yourself!
I think you can "have your cake and eat it too," although imperfectly. Have you considered leaving the store with 2 containers and giving one away free to someone who is entering the store? In this way, you will get your single container and, hopefully, effectively boycott the 2-for-1 pricing model by causing fewer people to buy blueberries at the display. The trick is to give your free container away only to someone who otherwise would have bought blueberries. The last thing you want to do is encourage a new wave of blueberry buying! The best I can think of is to level with people entering the store by saying something like "Anybody want a free container of blueberries who hates 2-for-1 blueberry sales?" and see what happens. Hopefully, someone will bite before you get shooed off the premises. In the meantime, I might suggest you try melting your extra blueberries into a syrup with a little water, lemon juice and cinnamon and pouring the syrup over some pancakes. At least you will feel better.
Fondly,
TKT
]]>First of all, it’s clearly not your problem. Instead of fretting, you should pat yourself on the back for continuing to receive...
]]>Dear Kitchen Therapist,
I seem to have this problem of consistently arriving at others’ dinner engagements on the wrong night. It’s extremely embarrassing and a waste of my time getting there and home again. I also end up eating my hostess gift by myself—usually a box of chocolates, which is not doing wonders for my waistline. I don’t know why people can’t be more predictable. Should I mention to them that they might extend invitations to me on a more regular basis?
Sincerely,
A. Wreck
Dear A. Wreck,
First of all, it’s clearly not your problem. Instead of fretting, you should pat yourself on the back for continuing to receive dinner invitations. There must be something remarkable about you that lurks beneath the surface. It also might help to remember that we all get caught up in our routines (including those who ask you to dinner) and overlook the obvious.
I wouldn’t recommend urging others to invite you on a more regular basis. (Perhaps you have heard the phrase—“Don’t press your luck”?) You might suggest to them, however, that everyone might profit by a reminder a few days before the event. At the very least, consider bringing a different type of gift, such as a bouquet of flowers or bottle of wine.
Good luck!
TKT